Friendship

by Mary (Lockwood) Branin

As members of the Escon-Do-C Square Dance Club several of the women formed strong friendships.  One member, Mabel Seibert found that she and her husband would not be physically able to continue dancing and she desperately wanted to keep in touch with her friends. Therefore, several of the women decided to form a Thursday lunch group to meet each week. This would follow the Wednesday evening dances that gave us lots to talk about.

Nellie Askegreen offered to have the first meeting at her home on March 11, 1976. Besides Mabel and Nellie others attending were Mary Branin, Margaret Taylor, Lorraine Leaming and Jean Matthews. Other early members were Laverne Pyer, Gerry Beckman, Phyllis Burdick, Esther Decker, Gracie Hover, Willie Bashta and Norma Kunz. Several names for ‘the group were bandied around such as Brown Baggers and Stitchers and Bitchers but Happy Hookers seemed to be the popular choice as so many of us were wielding crochet hooks or latch hooks. We brought our own bag lunches and the hostess provided coffee, tea, water and dessert.

Mary Branin hosted the next week’s meeting and Margaret Taylor was convinced her home was indeed large enough so she hosted us the following week. Over the years many members have joined and dropped out. On the evening of December 12, 1976 Jim and Jean Matthews invited the Hookers with husbands to a Christmas Party. We all helped with the food and silly games were played. Jim became famous for his pitchers of Margaritas.

March 12, 1977 for our 1st Anniversary we took our husbands to El Cajon to Pinacle Pete’s for dinner. This restaurant had a rule that men were not allowed to wear ties to dinner. If a man showed up in one they cut if off and the ceiling was decorated with pieces of ties. One day in the Spring of 1977 five of us (Mabel, Gerry, Margaret, Nellie and Mary) took the local bus to Ramona for a visit to antique stores and have lunch in a local cafe until it was time to board the bus for the return trip.

For the club 2nd Anniversary, March 5, 1978 the Hookers and husbands had dinner at the China Doll, a local Chinese Restaurant and on April 28, 1977 we had a potluck dinner at the Matthews home. April 30, 1977 Matthews spirited the Askegreens away to the desert while the rest of us assembled for a surprise 40th anniversary Party for the Askegreens in their home. This, of course, included the Askegreens family members. Pete Bashta graciously brought his camera for candid shots.

October 28, 1978 a group of the Hookers, Esther, Mabel, Jean, Norma, Lorraine, Laverne, Mary, Gerry, Phyllis and Nellie, took the Amtrak train to Los Angeles for the day. We toured Olvera Street, the oldest part of Los Angeles and took the elevator to the top of the City Hall. Although Mabel could walk we brought along a wheelchair for her as she would tire too easily. We took turns pushing her along the streets. On the train trip home Norma fell asleep in the comfortable lounge chairs.

December 15, 1978 found us at the home of the Leamings for a Christmas Party and on February 10, 1979 the husbands surprised the wives with a potluck dinner at the Branin home. This coincided with Bill Beckman’s birthday. Herman cook a roast on the spit of his Bar-B-Q, Carl baked potatoes, Jerry brought a wonderful salad, Jim provided his margaritas and Pete Pyer brought rolls. Since it was at the Branin house Mary had gotten wind of the plans and had a birthday cake for Bill. The men gave their wives a wonderful meal and it was a very happy party.

On March 9, 1979, the 3rd Anniversary was celebrated at House of Sweden in Poway, September 29 Leamings hosted a potluck dinner at their home and in December Pyer‘s hosted a Christmas party.

February 29 1980 the couples went to Barnaby’s in San Marcos to celebrate the 4th Anniversary. During the first half of 1980 Phyllis invited us to her home to make Butter Cream Candies. We brought powder sugar and butter and Phyllis had the forms to mold the candies in the shape of flowers. It was a fun and delicious activity. Later that day Gracie phoned Phyllis to report she had lost her diamond ring at Phyllis‘ home. Of course, Phyllis very diligently looked all over and under everything and couldn’t find the ring. Later Gracie phoned to say she had found the missing ring on her own dresser.

On September 27, 1980 Matthews, Pyers, Branins, Sieberts, Leamings, Burdicks, Askegreens, Margaret Taylor, Esther Decker and John, Dewilde went to Big Bear to celebrate Oktoberfest and Mabel‘s 80^th birthday. We had reserved two lodges for overnight, found places to eat and wandered around Big Bear. December 27, 1980 a Christmas Party was held at the Askegreen home.

February 20, 1981 we celebrated our 5th Anniversary and we went to Loves Restaurant on December 11th for a Christmas party. On the 31st we had a New Year’s Eve party at the Branins. March 12, 1982 we celebrated our 6th Anniversary at Mr. Steak. Sadly, in June of that year Gracie Hover died. Phyllis arranged for the Hookers to partake on a bus trip December 9, 1982 to Lemon Grove Skyline Wesleyan Church. We were chilly waiting in line to enter the church, enjoyed a wonderful Christmas display and were again chilly on the bus ride back home. Nelda Schlichter join the club and on December 12, the Christmas Party was at the home of the Pyers and New’Year’s Eve was spent at the Branin home.

March 3, 1983 we celebrated our 7th Anniversary at Oakvale Lodge, near Lake Wohlford. The service was very poor with some almost finished with their meal before others got served. Near the end of the year Askegreens hosted a Christmas party on December 17 and our New Year’s Eve party was at Leamings.

On January 30, 1984 we took our husbands to China Szechwan for dinner and on February 10 we celebrated our 8th Anniversary at Lawrence Welk’s’ Resort. Mabel Seibert’s daughter Ginny came out to California after Ray had died and moved her mother back to the Chicago area. We would miss Mabel with her feisty good humor. Someone got the idea that each week the hostess would provide the whole lunch. We had some delightful lunches until it was decided that it put too much strain on the hostess. Thinking about what to serve and getting everything ready was getting to be a drag so we returned to bringing our own lunches. The hostess then had only to provide drinks and dessert.

Phyllis had wonderful ideas for outings and parties. One evening she invited all the couples to her home for a Crazy Dinner. We were asked to pick five items for each of the four courses, from a list of cryptic clues. Musical fruit, Popeye‘s delite, crunchy pome and a bunny stick would bring on baked beans, an Olive, apple crunch, and a carrot. Only luck would bring you a pusher and golden sunshine or a roll with butter at the same course, or Columbian treat with a scoop as coffee and a teaspoon. We had some strange combinations served. A real problem might be ordering Pig on a Pillow (Ham and potatoes) at the first course but only getting A Cut Up (knife) and A Cook’s Tester (fork) at the last course.

The Leamings put on a Roaring Twenties Party on November l, I984. The costumes were very creative and we enjoyed gaming tables in their barn/recreation room. December 13, we went to Lawrence Welk’s Resort for lunch and a show. December 15 a Christmas Party was held at the home of Jean Matthews. December 31 Kunz’ hosted a New Year’s Eve party and invited Arlyce and Earl Brasher. We tried to keep the membership at 12. Since Mabel had moved away Arlyce now made up the twelfth member. Willie had returned to work in Pete’s office and had to drop out.

Over the years the members shared their many joys and sorrows including marriages, births, illness, accidents, divorce, death, travels and moves. We became our own grief support system with always a friend’s shoulder to lean on.

In March of 1985 the 9th Anniversary was celebrated at Gentlemen’s Choice and in August a potluck dinner was held in the Branin’s backyard. The Christmas Party was at Schlichter’s on December 21 and New Year’s Eve was held at Brasher’s.

The 10th Anniversary was held at Lawrence Welk’s Resort on March 7, 1986, a Christmas Party at Askegreen‘s on December 13, 1986 and New Years Eve at Branin’s where assorted toppings were offered and guests fixed their own pizzas.

In 1987 the 11th Anniversary was held at Fiesta Dinner Theater in March and, a Christmas Party on December 19 at Askegreen’s. About this time Phyllis had to drop out of the Hookers. Jerry’s declining health required more of her time and she was getting busier with her church work. This really left a hole in the club as Phyllis was the instigator of many activities. On April 7, 1988 the 12th Anniversary was celebrated at Lawrence Welk’s Resort where Shirley Neff was added to the group. Sometime during that year Schlichters moved North to Mt. Shasta City and in September Leamings hosted a Fish Fry at their home. The Christmas Party on December 10 was at Branins and New Year’s Eve was spent at Pyers’ home.

March 24, 1989 for our 13th Anniversary saw us again at Lawrence Welk’s Resort. A party at Askegreen’s on March 31, 1989 added Lori Ward to the Hookers. On April 23, we attended a Farewell Party for Mike and Kathy Shidner (Pyer’s daughter) at Felicita Park On May 11, 1989 Lena Kobler (Norma’s mom) celebrated her 96th birthday and the picture shows Mary Jane Borer in the group. December 10 the Christmas Party was at Brasher’s, December 21 the Hookers and Hubbies enjoyed a Christmas lunch at Pyers and December 31, 1990 the New Year’s Eve party was at the home of Brashers. It might be noted that after this year we stopped having New Year’s Eve Parties. I think the problem of driving at night and the wish to get to bed earlier than midnight probably caused the end of this.

The 14th Anniversary was celebrated February 17, 1990 at Cocina del Charro, followed by Bunco playing at Brashers. In September the Hookers had lunch at Leaming‘s campsite at San Elijo State Beach. On November 2, Askegreens hosted a party for visiting Schlichters and December 15 the Christmas Party was at Pyers.

March 28, 1991 we celebrated our 15th Anniversary at Maxine’s, by Lake Hodges and Ray and Liz Jones were included. October 3, 1991 several of us went to Lawrence Welk’s Street of Dreams where we toured million-dollar homes but didn’t buy any of them. in October we met at lHOP for lunch. December 14, we had a Christmas Party at Leamings. March 5 1992 the Hookers had lunch at Red Lobster and March 22 we celebrated the 16th Anniversary at Gentlemen’s Choice and went on to visiting at Leamings. The December 13, Christmas party was at Askegreen’s.

February 25, 1993 Most of the Hookers went to San Diego to tour the new Mormon Temple and then to Charlie’s Restaurant in Escondido for lunch. in March Jean, Lori, Mary, Willie, Norma and Nellie spent a few hours at the Wild Animal Park. April 4 the 17th Anniversary was held at the Fireside Restaurant, followed by an evening at Brasher’s. December 18th the Christmas Party was held at Leaming’s.

In 1994 the 18th Anniversary was celebrated at Quails Inn, lunch at Miki’s in October and the Christmas party at Pyer‘s on December 10. March 5 of 1995 we celebrated the 19th Anniversary at the Brigantine and on March 18 we had lunch at the Olive Garden. That Spring Willie moved to Las Vegas. In September we went to lunch at the Bamboo House. December 10 the Christmas party was at the home of Branins.

March 16, 1996 Willie‘s daughter, Sally, brought her to visit and we held our 20th Anniversary at the Marriott Hotel in San Diego followed by visiting at Brashers. ln July of 1996 the Jones and Pyers were in a terrible accident in Northern California. Liz suffered a broken neck and was in a hospital for a month. Then she was brought down to San Diego and Sharp Rehabilitation. After two months there she finally came home but had to wear a Halo to keep her head in place for another month. Even though she heard predictions that she would never walk again she persevered and eventually got back her ability to walk and even drive a car.

December 11 we took a bus trip to Riverside Heritage House with lunch at the Market Broiler. The Christmas Party was held at Brasher’s on December 14. On February 6, 1997 we took a bus trip to view Wheel of Fortune and then on the 23rd we celebrated our 21st Anniversary at Quail’s Inn and moved on to Leaming’s for visiting. December 20 we had a Christmas Party at Askegreens.

In 1998 we held our 22nd Anniversary at the Fireside on March 8 and had a Hooker/Hubby lunch at Leamings on December 10. March 12, 1999 our 23rd Anniversary was held at Quail’s Inn followed by visiting at Branin‘s.

Liz’s daughter, Cindy, works with developmentally challenged adults. In April of 1999 she encouraged us to make afghans to give to these clients. Some have no family to make their Christmas special. We got started making Granny Squares to assemble into afghans. March 20 we went to lunch at the Golden Omelet and on July 4 the Leamings invited Hookers and Hubbies to a potluck lunch. December 11, 1999 the Christmas Party was held at Pyers. On December 16, 1999 we packaged up 26 afghans for Cindy’s clients.

February 27, 2000 our 24th Anniversary was celebrated at the Elephant Bar in Rancho Bernardo followed by dessert at Brashers. In May of this year Ella Girdwood joined the Hookers. The December 9 Christmas party was held at home of Larry and Debbie Michel (Lorraine’s daughter). January 20, 2001 we went to Lawrence Welk’s for lunch and the show “Oklahoma”. March 25 our 25th Anniversary was celebrated at Aubergini Brunch with show “Forever Plaid”. The Christmas Party was again at the Michel home where pictures were taken of each Hooker. Later we were each given a wonderful calendar with a different Hooker‘s portrait on each month.

March 3, 2002 our 26th Anniversary was held at Welk’s with lunch and “Show Boat”. Sometime that Spring Hookers added Lorraine’s daughter, Joan Macfarlane, to our roster. July 4th we had a potluck poolside party at Brasher’s. On July 25 Norma and Lewis Kunz, who had moved to Oregon, visited with Hookers at the Branin home. On November 23, 2002 we had lunch and the Christmas Show at Welk’s. Our Christmas Party was held at the Macfarlane home on December 7.

March 9, 2003 out 27th Anniversary was celebrated at Marie Callender’s followed by visiting at Leamings. The December 13 Christmas party was held at Macfarlane’s. March 13, 2004 our 28^th anniversary was at Ocean Buffet, then on to Leaming’s. July 5 we had a potluck lunch at Leamings. Sadly, on September 2, 2004 LaVerne Pyer died. In November the Hookers added Jean Bowdoin and Cindy Callister to the group. The Christmas party was again at Macfarlane‘s on December 11.

Our 29th Anniversary was celebrated March 12, 2005 at Coco’s and then on to Brasher’s. Arlyce had daughter, Pam, drop her off for dinner and discovered she had forgotten to bring a key to her home. After standing around in cold misty weather most of us went on home. Arlyce did think of calling her son and he was able to come over with a key so the hardy ones still waiting did have a party.

On May 26, 2005 Leamings held a “Goodbye” party for Margaret Taylor who was moving to Missouri to be with family. In June Nellie sold her home and moved to Redwood Terrace, a retirement community. July 7 we met for lunch at Old Town Buffet and put Hookers on hold for the rest of the month due to vacations. On October 27, 2005 the Hookers and Hubbies had a potluck lunch at Brashers. December 10 a Christmas party was held at Brasher‘s.

For our 30th Anniversary, March 23, 2006 we had dinner at Old Town Buffet and then went on to Branin’s. December 3, we had dinner at Marie Callender’s and then went on to Mickels for pie. We had dinner at the Elephant Bar on February 19, 2007 to honor our 31st Anniversary and went on to Leaming’s to visit. In April of 2007 the Branins moved into Redwood Town Court, a retirement community. December 13 we had lunch at a French restaurant St. Tropez at the 4S Ranch, a fairly new development in Rancho Bernardo. Daytime lunches now seemed to work out better as some did not want to drive out at night for dinner.

In November of 2008 Leamings listed their home for sale. ‘Lorraine was in and out of the hospital but they got moved to Cypress Court, a retirement community. December 6, 2008 a Christmas party was held at Arlyce Brasher’s home. On December 16, Lori had surgery on her nose due to cancer of the cartilage. She then kept out of sight while the doctors rebuilt a nose for her. On March 3, 2009 Lorraine Leaming died and on March 8 a gathering was held at the Michel home to remember Lorraine. For this event Lori finally ventured out in public and didn’t look too bad.

On December 10 we took a potluck lunch to Jack Leaming‘s mobile home at Rancho Escondido for our Christmas party. in March of 2010 Jean Matthews gave up her car and moved to Redwood Terrace. On April 26, 2011 Gerry Beckman died. May 3, 2011 it was decided to hold all Thursday sessions at Liz’s home as she had the best parking and access. We each contributed money and Liz and Ray did the shopping for dessert and coffee supplies. May 15, 2011 Lori Ward died and on August 3, 2012 Ella Grimwood died. August 16, 2012 at a meeting at Liz’ home it was decided to disband the club. Soon the Jones were making plans to move to Redwood Town Court. Nellie Askegreen died April 11, 2013.

The friendships over the 36 years were a great asset and I think knowing these women made me a better person. l hope I can keep my mental faculties sharp so l am always able to enjoy the memories.